


Gaslight

by Alka_seltzer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Anxiety, Captive, Crazy Castiel, Depression, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional Trauma, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Forced Relationship, Gaslighting, Gen, Guilt, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kidnapped Castiel, Kidnapping, M/M, Manipulative Dean, Mind Games, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Obsession, Rape/Non-con Elements, Serial Killer Dean, Stockholm Syndrome, Student Castiel, Toxic Relationships, Violence, castiel loses his shit, selfish Dean, sociopathic Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-06
Updated: 2015-10-11
Packaged: 2018-04-25 03:47:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4945606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alka_seltzer/pseuds/Alka_seltzer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When twenty one year old Castiel Novak goes missing one night, his family, friends and boyfriend are devastated. The shock of the disappearance rocks the little town of Pontiac, Illinois and the police waste no time in launching a search and investigation, but with no trace of the young, bright eyed college student, hopes of finding him quickly fade, leaving his family to deal emotionally with his ‘death’.<br/>Dean Winchester, is a thirty two year old Professor during the day and a terrifying serial killer at night, living alone after the death of his younger brother. He suffered a traumatic and abusive childhood at the hands of his father,in order to protect his younger brother from the abuse, and is left with no sense of right or wrong and a strong craving for the ‘perfect family.’ which he seeks to create with Castiel. Whether the younger man is willing or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> -Reader Discretion is advised  
> -trigger warnings listed  
> -do not copy or paste elsewhere
> 
> -visit me on tumblr: alka-seltzer-spacewitch
> 
> Enjoy!

_“I just don’t like the idea of you walking back home so late at night. It’s past ten, who knows what kinda creeps are out there right now,”_ Castiel rolled his eyes, kicking a pebble out of his way as he walked, phone pressed to his ear and concerned boyfriend on the other end of the line. He’d had an essay for sociology he needed to do some research on and had refused his boyfriend’s offer to pick him up.

“I’ll be fine Balthy, honest. No one’s out here right now. I have mace in my bag and I’m like five minutes from our apartment. When I get home I’ll make it up to you I promise.”

_“I know you will. Making me worry like this….I love you.”_ Castiel smiled, the words rolling off his british boyfriend’s tongue with ease. The low rumble of a car and the casting of his shadow startled him, turning his head, he saw headlights, a car slowing as it came up on him. Castiel gripped his cell tightly in his hand, fear creeping up his spine.

“I love you too Balthazar...I’ll see you in a few.” Castiel fumbled, shoving his phone in his pocket and whipping his backpack off his shoulders, he had pust wrapped his fingers around the small bottle of mace when the car pulled over, a 1967 chevy Impala. The driver rolled down the window and leaned across the seat. Castiel bent his head, every instinct in him telling him to run. But curiosity always got the better of him.

“Novak? Castiel Novak?” the voice was low, gruff and familiar. As his eyes adjusted to the light, he saw the familiar face of his psych professor. His grip on the mace relaxed, as tension fled his body, but still, something didn’t feel quite right. He swallowed his anxieties and flashed the professor a tight lipped smile.

“Hello Professor.”

“Dean. We’re not in class right now.” Castiel’s mouth felt dry. He wanted to walk away, but his legs wouldn’t move, he nodded.

“Hello Dean.”

“What are you doing out here so late at night? You shouldn’t be walking home alone.” Castiel nodded, pushing his bookbag back up his shoulder.

“I had to research a topic for my sociology class. I was at the library.” Dean chuckled, it was dry and humorless. Castiel back up when Dean’s arm moved, pushing on the door to open it. Light flooded the car and Castiel could see his teacher more clearly, Professor Winchester was very handsome. He had short blonde hair that looked as though he spent quite a bit of time running his fingers through it, beautiful green eyes, a chiseled jaw laced with stubble and freckles that dusted over his nose and up under his eyes. He was a gorgeous man and now smiled at Castiel kindly, but there was a glint in his eye that put Castiel off, he swallowed and raised his eyebrow, clutching his bag closer to him. “Sir?”

“I can give you a ride to your place. No big deal. I don’t think you should be walking out here alone at night.” Castiel hesitated, licking his lips, Professor Winchester’s eyes traced the movement, his own lips parting to suck in air. Castiel shook his head.

“N-No I shouldn’t-”

“I said _get in_.” Castiel flinched at the change in his Professor’s voice. The calm and collectedness of before evaporating into an impatient command. Castiel nodded, sliding his bag off his shoulder, onto the floor of his car and clumsily climbing in. The door shut with a loud thud, Castiel clung to the handle, only to watch the door lock. He turned to Dean, eyes wide. Dean shrugged his shoulders, a small smile on his lips. “For protection. I always lock the doors.” Castiel nodded, not trusting his voice. “Where to?” Dean said gunning the engine.

“Apartment 602 Fifth street.” Castiel screamed internally as they pulled away from the curb. Something didn’t feel right and he was wishing he would have just run.

-0-0-

Dean had been watching Castiel for quite some time. He was a smart kid, good grades, stayed out of trouble. Had a foreign boyfriend and a couple siblings. Dean wasn’t obsessed or anything, and he wasn’t a stalker, he just felt drawn to him. When Castiel smiled at him or greeted him a familiar warmth swept through his body, one he hadn’t felt since his baby brother died, and he craved it. He longed to feel loved again. Admired, and wanted, by somebody.

And Castiel was the one who would give it back to him. Castiel was the one, he always had been.

He’d had a rough childhood. His mother died in childbirth and his father was an alcoholic. The only way the man knew how to deal with the pain of loss. He neglected his children, leaving the job of father to his oldest son, Dean. At four years old Dean became his younger brother’s father, feeding him, washing him tucking him in, teaching him right from wrong. Though Dean had done everything his father had asked, it wasn’t enough. The older man withdrew from his children. Seeking solace in women and booze, and lashing out on Dean anytime he felt it fit.

For a long time it was only Sam. Sam was the only one who made Dean feel something of affection. The way he smiled at his big brother, so proud of him and so happy. Dean blossomed under the praise, flourished and vowed to take care of his brother no matter what.

Then he died. Sam was killed by a drunk driver only six months ago. Dean didn’t know why, but something snapped in him after that. He became an insomniac, constantly thinking of Castiel, wondering where he was, what he was doing. He would hire hookers in his likeness and jerked off in the bathroom to the thought of  Castiel’s mouth around his cock. When Lisa Braeden propositioned him for sex, he took from behind, imagining Castiel beneath him writhing and moaning in pleasure. It was fate, they were meant to be together. And they would be, he knew it.

So imagine Dean’s surprised pleasure upon seeing Castiel walking home alone on a wednesday night. It was almost too good, too perfect. Dean, himself, had stayed over to grade tests and fuck that pretty little brunette, Lisa Braeden on his desk. She wanted an A, she was gonna have to earn it. But even with her lips around his cock, it was Castiel he’d been thinking about. Castiel with his perfect sex hair, and blue eyes and plush lips. Castiel with his cute little pert ass and toned arms. It was Castiel that he truly desired.

“Y-You missed my street Sir,” Dean repressed a pleased shiver. He loved the fear in Castiel’s voice, could feel it radiating off of him. The kid was powerless, and had no hope of escaping him now. Dean turned and met Castiel’s eyes with a cocky smirk.

“No I didn’t.” Castiel nodded, fumbled, trying to find the right words to use. Dean drove steadily, turning off the main road and onto a gravel driveway. Castiel’s breath hitched, coming out in fast, short bursts.

“P-Please sir...Please let me go. I won’t-”

“You won’t what?” Dean asked, a hidden layer of malice laced in his words. Castiel was trembling, his hands twitching in his lap. Dean was high off the fear. “I’m taking you where you want to go Castiel. I’m taking you home.”

“B-But this is..I’m not-” Castiel whimpered when Dean reached out, his hand clasping gently around the back of Castiel’s neck, he felt the muscles tensed as he played with the little hairs on the back of his student’s neck. Castiel bit his lip, eyes scrunching up. “Please sir...I just wanna go home…” Castiel’s voice was barely above a whisper now, choked off and desperate. Dean loved it.

“But baby...I am taking you home,” swiftly, before Castiel could even comprehend it Dean grasped the back of his neck and shoved his head forward, smacking it hard on the dashboard. Castiel groaned and slumped over, unconscious. Dean’s hand slid down, smoothing gently over the unconscious man’s back. “Shhh...your home is waiting….Your home is waiting….” he grinned so wide his face hurt as he pulled into the driveway of his- no their home.

-0-0-

Balthazar couldn’t wait any longer. It was past two in the morning and Castiel wasn’t home. He’d called several times, only to get a voicemail and had even called his parents and woken them up. He lit a cigarette as he sat at the kitchen table. He dialed the number quickly and pressed the phone to his ear.

“Hello? 911 what’s your emergency?”

“Hello? I- I need some assistance….My boyfriend is missing.”

-0-0-

**  
  
**

Castiel groaned. His head hurt and his arms were sore.He felt them above his head, wrapped in leather restraints, he could feel it digging into his skin.  His body was cold and he could feel goose pimples peppering his flesh. The sound of dripping water and the smell of musk, greeted his senses. He tried to open his eyes, but a cloth had been placed over them, he felt it scrape against his lashes.

“Help!” he cried out. “Help me!” his words echoed off the walls, of what he could only guess was a basement. He twisted, pain shooting through his arms violently and chains rattling as he moved, his feet, suspended off the floor, he continued to kick and scream. “Please help me!”

“Shut up!” Castiel’s mouth snapped shut immediately. The sound of boots, stomping down creaky wooden stairs, coming his way. There was a rattle of keys and the scrape of something dragging across the floor. And then he felt him, whoever had taken him, breath hot and warm against his neck, foreign hands, tracing over his naked chest. Castiel whimpered, trying to retreat from the touch. “Don’t be like that….Don’t run from me.” the scrape of stubble and hair assaulted Castiel’s chest, as whoever had taken him rested against him, nuzzling into his skin. Hot tears pressed against Castiel’s eyes as he forced his screams down into his stomach. “Everything is okay..I’m here...I’m here Cas…” Castiel stilled, his heart pounding in his chest in recognition.

“P-Professor!” Castiel gasped, he could feel a smirk against his heart, as the Professor placed a chaste kiss there.

“Call me Dean sweetheart. I’m gonna take good care of you.”

“D-Dean please,” Castiel whimpered, “Please let me go. I don’t...I don’t wanna be here. Let me go home.” Castiel gasped, a sharp tug on the blindfold had him blinking in bright florescent lighting. It took him only a moment to adjust and when he did he saw Dean, his Professor, his kidnapper, watching him with hunger in his eyes, lips parted and pupils blown. He studied Castiel, tilting his head and clucking his tongue.

“Baby doesn’t like it here?” Castiel blanched, he couldn’t believe the words he was hearing. He’d only ever spoken to his Professor in passing, when he was handing in an essay or greeting him in the hall. Castiel could not fathom why, why this intelligent man, would want to take him. “Baby is unhappy?” Dean asks again, a little more bluntly, with a harder edge. Castiel shudders, it’s cold and his nipples hurt. “Because….Because I think you could be happy here Cas….We could be a family.” Castiel’s brow knotted in confusion.

“W-What?” Castiel asked. Dean leaned forward, pressing gently, feather light kisses into Castiel’s skin. Castiel whimpered again, repulsed by the tender touches. Dean reached out, grasping Castiel’s hips, digging his nails into the pale flesh there.

“You’re mine,” Dean said between kisses, “Been watching you.” kiss. “Wanting you.” kiss. lick. “You and I,” kiss. “We’ll be happy….Together.” Castiel groaned, Dean’s head rose from Castiel’s chest, to look him in the eye. “You’ll learn to like it here.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -attempted rape in this chapter

He didn’t know if Castiel liked pancakes. He hadn’t bothered to ask, the boy had been hysterical the night before and Dean ended up having to put him to sleep. He’d taken extra care in setting up the basement, trying his best to make it as comfortable as possible. But Cas didn’t like it. He didn’t say thank you for all the care and thought Dean had put into ensuring his happiness. He was being ungrateful and Dean didn’t like that at all.

But still, if this was going to work he had to mind his temper, and at least try once more to put Cas at ease. The only way he would allow the boy to leave, was only by death. Only then would the boy be free to leave him, and Dean wasn’t willing to let that happen.

Castiel just needed time to adjust. Then they’d be okay, he’d fall in love with Dean. Even if the older man had to force him to. It would happen.

**  
  
**

-o-o-

Castiel felt lightheaded, his wrists hurt and there was something cold wrapped around his ankle. He was lying on his back, in something soft, a bed maybe, he couldn’t be sure with his eyes closed. Everything felt foggy, he was tired and just wanted to go back to sleep. He started to drift again when he heard it. The footsteps on the stairs, the sound sent shivers of fear through his body. His eyes snapped open.

The overhead light was too bright, illuminating everything around him. Castiel was indeed, lying on a bed, a leather strap wrapped around his ankle, chaining him to the bed. A blanket hung, haphazardly off his lower body, but he could see his chest was still naked, though thankfully his lower half was still clothed. Before he could make anymore observations he felt the bed tilt, the man who’d taken him, sitting down beside him.

Dean. Professor Winchester. Castiel whimpered in fear.

“Shh,” the man reached out, a sickeningly tender look on his face as he smoothed Castiel’s hair back off his forehead. Castiel felt himself shaking, trembling in fear, frightened of what this man might do to him. He flinched, pushing back away from the touch. Dean’s eyes flickered, changing from tenderness to something darker, he roughly grabbed Castiel’s chin in his hand, forcing the younger man to look at him. “Stop fighting me….You’ll only make things worse for yourself.” Dean’s tone was flat, almost dead as he spoke, stroking his thumb over Castiel’s cheekbone. Castiel whiteknuckled the sheets of the bed, clenching his fists tightly, knowing that if he struck Dean that would be it. Dean could easily overpower him, he knew that now, it’d be no use to try and fight.

“Please.” Castiel mumbled, his words slurred slightly, his mouth dry and his throat raw, “please don’t hurt me.” Dean continued to stroke Castiel’s cheek, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the side of his mouth. Castiel whimpered, closing his eyes, trying to think of anything but the mouth near his skin. A soft sob escaped him, it hurt his chest and he groaned at the constriction.

“Shh,” Dean whispered, reaching up with his other hand to run his fingers through Castiel’s hair. “Shh...Baby I’m not going to hurt you. I don’t want to hurt you...If I hurt you it’ll be because you made me. You gave me no choice….So as long as you’re a good boy and do as you’re told I won’t hurt you. I love you,” Castiel’s breath hitched at the words. Dean pulled back, bumping his nose against Castiel’s, his grip on the boy loosening. He pressed his lips to Castiel’s, and as squeamish as he felt, he couldn’t bring himself to think it was terrible. Dean’s lips were soft and tentative, curious as they dragged over the younger boy’s mouth. “Say it baby.” Castiel’s spine prickled, Dean’s voice was rougher, lower than it had been. “Say you love me too baby.” he growled, pulling away once more. Castiel opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out, this dissatisfied Dean and Castiel could see the exact moment when Dean’s ‘affections’ turned temperamental.

Castiel had little time to register what was happening when Dean reared back and brought his hand down, striking Castiel hard, across the cheek. Castiel’s head jerked, snapping back against the pillow, a muffled cry coming off his lips. Dean snarled, straddling the boy. Castiel kicked, fear twisting and turning in his belly. He could feel something hard pressing against his thigh, this sent him into a panic, he began to kick and squirm, crying out and begging Dean to stop, to let him go, he wouldn’t tell. Dean only struck him again harder.

With one hand Dean held both of Castiel’s above his head, with the other he yanked his boxers down, eyeing Castiel’s limp cock with hunger.Castiel tried to move, twisting his body, but one snarl and another slap from Dean rendered him silent, terrified as the man reached down and began to stroke his cock. Castiel screamed internally, his body betraying him as the stirrings of arousal began to pool in his stomach. Dean chuckled, low and malicious, his eyes meeting Castiel’s fully, for the first time since he came down stairs.

“I had made pancakes for you….But I can heat them up when we’re done here. I haven’t been paying good enough attention to my boy. You need me don’t you? I can feel it.” Castiel shut his eyes, trying to block out the sensations as Dean wrapped his hand tightly around his cock and began to pull and twist. He wanted to cry out, he wanted to sob, but the stubborn part of himself wouldn’t give Dean the satisfaction. He was just about to give in, just about to start begging when the sound of a doorbell ringing had Dean stopping his ministrations. Dean sat back, placing a finger over his lips in a gesture of silence to Castiel. Castiel nodded and Dean patted his cheek approvingly. “One word,” he whispered, “One noise or sound at all and I’ll slit that pretty little throat. Understand?” Castiel licked his lips, his body felt cold and he shivered with it. Dean quickly draped the blanket back over Castiel’s half hard cock and got off the bed, leaving Castiel once more, to his own frightened thoughts.

-o-o-

Castiel was going to be a lot of work. Dean was starting to understand this as he made his way back up the steps, the doorbell ringing incessantly. He realized that he would have to break the boy, piece by piece in order to get him to submit, and he would submit to him. It was only a matter of time, with the right words and punishment, Castiel would soon come to realize the very thing Dean had always known. They belonged together.

“Coming!” Dean shouted, trying to make himself look as calm as possible. He grabbed a bag of potato chips off the counter and opened it, stuffing a handful of the salty chips into his mouth, as he opened the door. Two men stood outside, in uniform, police officers. _Looking for Cas no doubt. Stay calm_. Dean thought to himself. He smiled politely. “Can I help you?”

“Hello I’m Detective Henrickson. This is Detective Walker. Are you Professor Dean Winchester?” Dean nodded, stuffing more chips into his mouth as calmly as he could.

“What’s this about?” he asked. The Detective called Henrickson pulled out his wallet, handing Dean a picture, a picture of his boy, Castiel, who was in his basement at that very moment.

Castiel was smiling in the picture, truly smiling, it met his eyes. He was standing in a garden, looking over his shoulder, back at the camera and the cameraman, affection was apparent in his eyes. A look Dean longed for him to give to him. Dean studied the picture, scrunching his brow together and trying to take in every detail.

“I uh, I take it you recognize him?” the other officer, Walker, stated awkwardly. Dean nodded, not lifting his eyes from the photograph.

“Yes...Yes this is my student Castiel Novak,” Dean said, handing the photo back to Henrickson. “He’s in my psychology class, but I haven’t seen him since wednesday….Did something happen to him?”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out...The boy’s boyfriend called us this morning and said he never returned home. We’re questioning everyone who knows him, just trying to see where he may have possibly gone...Were you close with him?” Dean shook his head, leaning against the doorway.

“No. No I only talked to him in class, the occasional hello when we saw each other outside of school.”

“Well uh, if you don’t mind, would it be okay if we looked around?” Dean shook his head, stepping to the side and opening space to enter his home.

“No, no of course it is. Go on in,” Dean said confidently, closing the door behind the officers. “Can I get you anything to drink? Eat?”

“No thanks. Just want to take a look and we’ll be on our way.” Dean followed them through his house, lurking in the background, on high alert. Each time they passed the bookcase his heart pounded, hoping that they wouldn’t ask him to move it. They searched for twenty minutes, but it felt like a lifetime to Dean. But relief flooded him, as he walked them back to the door.

“Thank you Professor for letting us have a look. You’re the fifth house we’ve been at today.” Dean nodded, smiling politely.

“Please, let me know if I can be of anymore help to you. I hope you find him.”

“Will do Professor. Thanks again.” Dean stood in the doorway and waved as they left, sighing happily as he turned back into the house. It was so easy. They would never find Cas.

Dean went back to the bookcase and opened it, stepping into the cellar, where he kept his pet.

-o-o-

Castiel cried when Dean left. Sobs rocking his body so hard it hurt and he thought he would nearly die from the hiccups.

He was afraid. But more than that, he was confused. Dean had never seemed like a person who would harm anyone. He’d always been polite, a ladies man for sure, and even funny in class sometimes. Castiel had admired his charisma and charm and had sometimes wished he could be that confident. Sure he’d seen Dean looking at him sometimes, eyes wandering where they shouldn’t have, but Castiel had dismissed it as his own wishful thinking. He did not think himself desirable enough for anyone, no matter how many times Balthazar told him how wanted he was.

“I don’t want to die,” he whispered to himself, burying his face into his pillow, his sobs quieted and he was left, after a while, with only hiccups and a shaking form. “I-I can't die here.” he muttered, over and over to himself, waiting for his tormentor’s inevitable return.

Dean came back after a while. Castiel had managed to pull his boxers back up and had been fumbling with the chain around his ankle, trying to escape. When the sound of footsteps echoed off the basement walls he blanched, throwing his blanket back over himself and scurrying back against the far end of the wall, as far from Dean as he possibly could.

Dean looked much more relaxed as he came back down stairs. His muscles weren’t as tensed and the look in his eyes was one of utter bliss. He smiled at Castiel, walking slowly back to the bed. Castiel’s back hit the wall, yet he continued to try and move away from him.

“Hey,” Dean cooed, “Hey,” he sat on the edge of the bed, reaching out to place a hand on Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel flinched at the touch. “I already told you, I’m not going to hurt you.”

“T-then why did you take me?” Castiel asked, his voice soft and quiet. Dean reached up, pulling at Castiel’s arms, the younger man went willingly, fearing another violent display as was shown earlier. He had decided to buy his time, to give Dean what he asked, as best he could, until he could find a way to escape. He would not die here. He vowed not to die here.

“I told you. You’re mine.”

“No,” Castiel said, pushing on Dean’s chest, to stop the man from pulling him closer, “No I-Balthazar-”

“He doesn’t love you...Not the way that I do,” Castiel continued to shake his head and Dean sighed in mock sadness.

“I didn’t want to tell you, but you leave me no choice. Balthazar’s been screwing around behind your back.” That struck a chord in Castiel, his breath hitched and his eyes widened, his stomach turning in knots.

“N-No you’re lying! He wouldn’t-” Dean grabbed Castiel’s shoulders roughly, forcing him to look at him. Dean’s eyes were ablaze, anger and sadness at Castiel’s disbelief evident as they smoldered.

“I’m not.” Dean growled. “I am not. Don’t you ever call me that.” Castiel nodded. Dean’s anger radiated off of him in waves, rolling against Castiel’s skin. The smaller man swallowed hard and nodded. Dean nodded with him, trying to reassure himself that Castiel believed him. “I am not.” he said again.

“You’re not. You’re not lying. I’m sorry.” Castiel whispered, his breath coming in short gasps. Fear was choking him, he didn’t want to die, and he realized if he pushed Dean too far, the man would snap and he would kill him. “I-I’m sorry….Baby,” Dean’s gaze faltered at the endearment, shocked that Castiel would say that to him. He smiled, it was crooked and wrong and made Castiel feel sick, but Dean cupped his cheek and kissed him again, a soft, barely there brush of lips. Castiel was lax, unmoving against Dean’s mouth as he poked and prodded with his tongue, trying to get Castiel to open up.

  
“You’re going to be happy here,” he whispered, giving up on Castiel’s lips and going instead, to suck at the boy’s neck. Castiel opened his mouth, letting out a silent scream, as the man’s hands traced up and down his sides, stroking over his nipples and circling them with his thumb. Dean began to push, forcing Castiel onto his back, Dean straddled him again, placing a hand on each side of Castiel’s head to hold himself up, he looked down at the boy. “I promise you’ll be happy here.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -rape  
> -murder  
> -violence  
> -manipulation  
> -gas lighting  
> -guilt tripping

Dean pulled back, hesitating over Castiel, the younger man’s cheeks flushed a light pink as his stomach growled once more. Dean tsked and climbed off the bed. He went to the end and pulled a ring of keys from his pocket, unlocking Castiel’s ankle. Castiel jerked back, pulling his legs up against him. Dean reached out, grabbing Castiel under the elbow, hard.

“Get up.” it wasn’t a request. The command rolled off of Dean’s tongue, in such a manner that Castiel immediately stood, allowing Dean to drag him to a table. It was wooden and had two chairs on either side of it, a yellow one and a faded blue one. Dean had made the table especially for Cas, while he was adjusting to his new life. He pulled back the blue chair and helped Castiel down into it. There were chains and ropes, instruments that would connect Castiel to the chair and keep him there so he wouldn’t escape. Castiel did not resist this time, as Dean strapped him into the chair, making sure the restraints were tight, but not too constricting. Dean leaned down and kissed Cas’s head possessively, running his fingers through that dark, ebony hair. “I’ll be right back,” he breathed against Cas’s forehead.

“Where are you going?!” Cas called. Dean ignored him, hurrying up the steps, taking them two at a time.

The pancakes were cold, Dean grimaced as he shoved them into the microwave to warm them again. This was a bust. Things were steadily going down south. He clenched his teeth, anger rising, anger towards Castiel. If he would just accept Dean, accept his new life and his new role in it he’d be happy. But he refused, he was like a wild horse, that would have to be broken in, again and again, until finally it submitted to it’s owner….Cas was his, there was no doubt about it in his mind, even if it meant he would have to break him and rebuild him until he was just right. They were family now. They were all they had.

-o-o-

Castiel didn't have to wait long, Dean came back shortly after leaving, the smell of pancakes made Castiel’s mouth water with hunger. Dean smiled at him, almost shyly, as he took the empty seat across from Castiel, and slid the tray over. Castiel raised his eyebrow.

“Oh!” Dean mumbled, standing to unlock the restraints around Castiel’s wrists, he handed him a plastic fork and a plastic knife. Good thinking. Castiel thought. I would have stabbed you in the eye and ran. He dug in hungrily, not bothering with any polite formalities, this man wouldn’t care. Dean watched him, a lost look in his eye, as though he were far away.

“I bet this is what your mother made you on Saturdays like today….” Castiel stopped, fork just before his mouth, his eyes locked on Dean’s, that lost, forlorn look glazing in his eyes, “you’d sleep in and wake to the smell of pancakes and bacon frying, eggs…” he scoffed, Dean’s eyes fell from Castiel’s and the younger man couldn’t help but wonder at the sadness laced within his words, “You’d walk down stairs and she’d kiss you and tell you to sit down, breakfast was almost done….You’d eat with your mom and your dad and your s-siblings,” Dean’s voice broke towards the end, he swallowed hard, taking a shaky breath before continuing. , “a perfect childhood for a perfect man…” Castiel scoffed, shoveling the food into his mouth.

“Like you never had breakfast with your mom and dad?” he regretted the words as soon as he said them. Dean’s eyes darkened, his jaw twitched and the veins in his neck bulked with tension.

“No, actually a lot of times it was only my little brother and me...my dad, he-he didn’t eat breakfast. Whiskey was his meal, day in and day out.” Dean’s voice became quieter, calmer, he didn’t look like the menacing man who had taken him in that moment, he looked like a sad little boy who’d been told he was never going to be president, someone who had been crushed over and over again...Castiel was surprised to feel sympathy, he couldn’t bring himself to malice. “My mom died,” Dean continued, more to himself than to Castiel, “she died giving birth to my little brother, Sammy. Dad never said, at least out loud but we knew, we knew he blamed Sam for her death. He couldn’t even look at him….I raised Sammy, shit, at four years old I was the man of the house. I taught my brother right from wrong and how to be a man. I did it. All of it...and you know what? They never even asked me!” Dean’s fist came down hard, slamming against the table in his tirade, Castiel flinched, the raw pain in Dean’s voice something he hadn’t been expecting. Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath, licking his lips, “I don’t regret it though..Not really, Sam-Sam meant the world to me. He was the only one….The only one who treated me like I was special,” he opened his eyes again, allowing them to rest on Castiel’s face, “until you...You’re the one who’s going to stay. You’re never going to leave me…” Castiel swallowed the last bit of his pancake. He didn’t know if Dean wanted him to answer, or just listen.

“That...That was good,” Castiel tried, “The food I mean,” he added quickly. Dean smiled, it was a real one, for the first time since Castiel had been picked up in that car. Realization flooded through him at that thought, it’d only been last night he was walking home...Last night felt like eons ago. “I-I really liked it,” Castiel said wiping his mouth. A light blush washed over Dean’s face, he sat back and cleared his throat, his expression going back to stony, a wall that was unreadable.

“I’m glad.” Dean said, his lip twitched upwards, curving into an all too familiar smirk. “Once you get used to being here you will have full access to the whole house. And you will of course, be laying with me at night, but the house itself, you will be free to roam.”

“W-what?”

“You didn’t think that just by complimenting me I’d let you off that easy?” Dean chuckled, it was dry and humorless as he shook his head, “no. No you stay here until you’re ready to obey. When you’ve earned my trust you can leave this cellar. Until then, you stay down here.” Castiel felt the blood drain from his face, anger and panic rising. He threw his plate at Dean, it bounced off his chest and landed on the floor, Dean’s eyes widened, staring at Castiel in surprised shock. But Castiel no longer cared, adrenaline egging him on, he slammed his fists down and pointed at Dean.

“You can’t force me to stay here! You crazy son of a bitch! I didn’t _do_ anything to you! What makes you think you have the fucking right to rip me away from everyone I love! Everyone I care about!? I will _never_ forgive you for this! I can _never_ love you after what you’ve done to me! I want out! Let me out of here! I want to see Balthy-”Dean’s head snapped up at the name, Balthazar. Castiel’s boyfriend. He snarled, standing so he was towering over Castiel, but Castiel didn’t back down, he glared right back at Dean, even when he grabbed his throat, coiling his fingers tightly around the boy’s neck. Castiel felt the pressure building, bubbling in his throat as he fought to catch breath, he beat his fists against Dean’s arms and shoulders, but Dean was unrelenting, a brick wall, sturdy and very, very angry.

“Fuckin’ cunt!” he hissed, throwing Castiel away from him. Castiel fell over the chair, gasping as his back hit the concrete and the wind was knocked from his body. He stared up at Dean with wide eyes. Dean reached down and grabbed Castiel by his hair, yanking hard enough to pull it out of his skull. “Think you can talk to me like that?!” white hot pain burst against Castiel’s cheek as Dean hit him, swinging his fist in a wide left hook as it struck his bone, blood spurted out of Castiel’s mouth, his vision going blurry. Dean continued, shouting and hitting Castiel as he went, sent into a frenzy by Castiel’s outrage.  “He is nothing! He can give you nothing! He can’t love you like I can!” Dean paused, yanking Castiel’s face back. Castiel had to squint, barely able to see out of either of his eyes. “And I’ll prove it to you.” he snarled. Castiel watched the pavement rush to his face, until darkness caught him and he was freefalling into it.

-o-o-

“He’ll come back Balthy...Don’t worry,” Anna Milton, Castiel’s step sister, was curled into Balthazar’s side. She kissed him gently, trying to soothe his fears. They’d been fooling around behind Castiel’s back for a while now, Balthazar had always been a player and Anna was a prize he just had to have. He sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

“I know I just….What if he doesn’t Anna? I’m worried about him.”

“I can take your mind off him.” Anna whispered seductively, pulling Balthazar so he was lying over her, pressing her back into the mattress, he leaned down to kiss her when the sound of thunderous knocking, startled him up and out of bed. He jumped up, throwing Anna’s shirt at her.

“Put your clothes back on! Hurry the fuck up!” he hissed, tugging his own clothes back on as he hurried down the hall towards the front door. “Yeah! Yeah I’m coming!” he shouted, but the knocking continued, only serving to grate on his already agitated nerves. He unlocked the door harshly, flinging it open. “Wha-Professor Winchester?” Balthazar’s blood ran cold, his boyfriend’s psychology teacher stood in the doorway, a silver pistol gleaming in his hand.

“Hello Mr. Roche. I believe we’ve never been properly introduced,” Dean sneered.Balthazar stuttered, fumbling for words as he rose his hands in a gesture of defeat.

“M-Mr. Winchester...Wha-”

“Balthy? Who is it?” Balthazar’s face paled, panic spiking as Anna came into view. She stopped, mouth dropping open at the sight of Dean in the doorway.

“Don’t you do it. I’ll blow your fucking brains out if you do it.” Anna’s mouth snapped shut, tears glistening in her eyes. Dean nodded towards the hallway, gun still poised and ready to shoot. “Let’s take a walk shall we?”

-o-o-

“Castiel! Castiel!” Castiel’s head hurt, he groaned reaching up to rub his swollen cheek, his eyes opening slowly.  Dean was sitting on the bed next to him, an icepack in his hands, he touches the cool package to the side of Castiel’s face, making him shiver. “Shh, shh,” Dean cooed, trying to be as soothing as possible, “I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to snap like that...But I’ve got a present for you.” Castiel’s stomach twisted in knots at the way Dean said ‘present’. Dean grabbed his shoulders, gently raising him to a sitting position. Castiel leaned back against the cool brick wall of the basement, his legs stretching out on the bed, as his eyes adjusted to the lighting.

“Oh my God! Balthy! Anna!” Castiel shrieked, lunging forward, only to be jerked back by the chain around his ankle.

Dean had Balthazar tied to a pipe, his arms behind his back and a gag in his mouth. Anna was face down on the ground, arms tied behind her back. Her shoulders were shaking, soft sobs emanating from her body.

“Let them go!” Castiel roared, anger filling him to the brim. Dean pulled a gun from his pocket, a little silver pistol. Castiel stilled, baring his teeth and growling deep within his chest.

“Really Cas? Is that the kind of thanks I get for bringing you this awful truth?” Dean asked sarcastically, kicking Anna’s side with the edge of his boot. “And all I’m trying to do here is bring you closure, so you can finally move on...with me.”

“What’re you talking about?” Castiel asked confused. Dean smirked, going over to Balthazar and bending down. Castiel was afraid, Dean seemed lively, energetic, there was a sort of pep in his step. It was more than a little unnerving, this change in mood.

“You wanna tell him?” Dean asked Balthazar, resting his elbow on the frightened man’s shoulder, he yanked the gag out of Balthazar’s mouth. Balthazar gasped, eyes widening as they landed on Castiel.

  
“Cassy!” he cried out, “Cassy I’m sorry,” there was a tremor in his voice.

“It’s okay,” Castiel tried to say calmly, but his voice cracked, fear in every word he spoke, “Dean please. Don’t hurt him please.”

“Even if he hurt you? You don't want me to hurt him.” Castiel hesitated. Dean pressed the gun into the side of Balthazar’s head. “Either you tell him,” he said in a low voice, “Or I will.” Balthazar opened his mouth, wetting his lips and trying to speak, Dean struck him, hard, Castiel cried out, fighting against his restraints, “ _Tell him!”_ Dean snarled.

“I-Me and Anna-we…” Balthazar’s eyes met Castiel’s. Castiel felt his heart thud to a stop in his chest. His eyes darted from Balthazar, to his step sister’s form and back again. He inhaled sharply, shaking his head.

“No.” Castiel said. “No you….”

“Yes,” Castiel’s eyes snapped back to Anna, she lifted her face from the floor, tears streaking and cleaning the dirt marks there. “Yes Castiel...it-it’s true.”

“How long?” Castiel asked breathlessly. He couldn’t think, any hope he’d had of Balthazar coming here to save him flew out the window. He probably hadn’t even been looking for him.

“S-six months.” she choked out.

“So six months the two of you have been humping like bunny rabbits behind dear old Cas’s back?” Dean chuckled.

“Yes! Yes we-I’m sorry Cassy! I really am baby! You know I love you!” Dean scoffed at Balthazar’s pleading words.

Castiel didn’t realize he’d been crying until Dean wiped a tear from his cheek, reaching out to kiss his forehead gently. He leaned his own against Castiel’s pressing their faces together, lips barely touching. Dean looked him in the eye, only tenderness and apology could be found there. He stroked Castiel’s cheek with the back of his hand, Castiel hadn’t realized he was hyperventilating, not until Dean pressed his palm flat against his chest, trying to calm him.

“Shh...breathe baby. I got you baby. I got you-”

“ _Baby?!_ ” Dean jerked, turning to face an enraged Balthazar, who had been watching their moment from where he sat. “What the fuck is going on here?! Who the hell are you to call Castiel your baby?!” Dean growled, standing again and picking up the pistol. Balthazar whimpered, all the bravado he had displayed gone as Dean stalked towards him.

“Who am I?” he asked in a low voice, a soft click let Castiel know he had taken off the safety, Castiel began to shut his eyes, “Cas you’d better watch.” he opened them again, terror seizing his chest as Dean pressed the gun against Balthazar’s temple again. “That doesn’t concern you. Cas is mine.”

Castiel covered his ears and screamed as the sound of a single gunshot rang through the basement. Balthazar’s body slumped and Anna cried out, squirming as far away from Dean as possible, but he was quicker. He straddled her hips, pressing her body down, harshly into the pavement, with a handful of her hair he yanked her head back for a filthy kiss. It was tongue and teeth and blood. Castiel felt as though he may be sick. Anna whimpered, her eyes never leaving Castiel’s, pleading with him to help her. “And as for you,” Dean said, his voice low and grovely.

Castiel closed his eyes and counted the minutes until he heard another gunshot. Anna’s screams as Dean raped her, haunting his mind.

-o-o-

“Do you still think I’m a liar?”

Dean was turned away from Castiel, his clothes drenched in blood as he stood in front of the corpses of Castiel’s sister and ex lover. Castiel hiccuped and shook his head, his voice was raw and sore from screaming, “N-no.” he croaked. “No you’re not a liar.” he watched Dean’s shoulders loose their tension. He turned to Castiel then, blood covering his face and his clothes. He walked to the bed and sat on the edge of it. Castiel resisted every impulse to move away in disgust as Dean reached up and drew his fingers down the side of Castiel’s face. His eyes were dark and taunting as he glared at the younger man.

“No one is coming for you.” Dean stated simply. Castiel nodded.

“No one is coming for me.” he answered in monotone.

“You are mine.”

“I am yours.”

“Anyone who comes between us will die.”

“Anyone who comes between us will d-die.” Dean smiled, patting Castiel’s cheek.

“Will you now obey? Or do I need to teach you a lesson as well?” Castiel shook his head. He was tired, mentally and emotionally. Everything he had hoped, the idea that his boyfriend would come in as a knight in shining armor had been shot down. No one was coming for him. he was alone now, at the mercy of a crazy man. When Castiel didn’t answer Dean stood, stretching his arms above his head. “I have work to do. Monday comes around fast and I still have some tests to grade...I’ll be back down with your supper later.” Castiel watched him walk towards the stairs, stopping at the lightswitch, Dean turned to give Castiel a final warning glare. “Oh and Cas? If you _ever_ throw a temper tantrum like that again I’ll fuckin’ skin you. Got it?”

 **  
** “Yes…” Castiel said, his voice was quiet. Dean nodded and shut the light off, enveloping Castiel in darkness, with two corpses at the foot of his bed.

Castiel feels himself breaking down as Dean's words echo in his head. No one is coming for him, and if they try, Dean will kill them.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit anticlimatic and can been seen as a filler for the next chapter.

Castiel wanted to give up. He feared there would be no escape for him. No one else would be able to save him. He’d be subjected to Dean’s tortures for the rest of his life. He felt himself falling deeper and deeper into despair. His sister’s cries, and his lover’s screams dancing in his ears as he spiraled into the darkness. Down. Down. Down…

_“Cas.”_ there was that voice again. It was calling him. He felt something tug at him. He groaned.

_“Cas.”_ leave me alone. He thought. Leave me alone to die.

_“Cas.”_ he stirred, feeling himself coming back to consciousness.

Castiel felt something soft in his hair, he moved, unwittingly, towards the contact, only to freeze when he heard a familiar voice. “Cas. Cas wake up.” he stirred, shifting onto his side, his eyes opening slowly. The first place he looked was the floor, the spot where his lover and sister had been slain, his jaw went slack when he found the bodies gone and the blood cleaned from the floor. “I figured you wouldn’t want them to be here when you woke up...I got rid of them, don’t worry, no one will find them for a while at least.” Castiel turned his gaze to Dean slowly, it was amazing to him how this giant monster could resemble a kicked puppy if he wanted to, but Castiel still had his guard up, he’d seen what Dean could do and despite the ‘kind’ gesture, he didn’t trust him at all.

“T-Thank you,” Castiel mumbled, stretching out, he heard Dean hiss as the blanket covering him fell away, revealing his bruised chest. Cas made a grab for it when Dean’s hand covered his. Stopping him. Castiel’s skin crawled with fear.

“Cas I’m sorry for hitting you...I-you were yelling and I couldn’t….” Dean trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. “I thought you might want to shower, and maybe watch a movie with me. Upstairs.”

“A movie?” Castiel asked suspiciously. Dean nodded.

“You ever see Raiders of the Lost Ark?” Castiel shook his head. Dean’s jaw dropped in mock offense. “Seriously?! Dude it’s a classic. Come on.” Dean reached into his pocket, pulling out that set of spare keys, he unlocked Castiel’s ankle. It hurt for him to move, he reached out and Dean was there, wrapping his arms around him to steady him. “I got you.” he muttered as he helped Castiel off the bed. “A quick shower and we’ll settle in for the movie. Castiel nodded, to focused on the pain in his chest to speak.

-o-o-

Cas looked bad. Dean could make out the bruises on his chest, could see where he’d landed each blow on that delicate, beautiful boy. But there was something else, something in his eyes that seemed dead. And that scared Dean. He hadn’t meant to snap. He’d only hoped that Castiel wouldn’t take so long to settle into his new life. Dean had never been a patient man and dealing with Castiel was a new battle all it’s own.

The bathroom was small, barely enough room to fit the two of them into it. Castiel hesitated, stopping in his tracks, his eyes going wide with fright. Dean reached out, wrapping his fingers around Castiel’s arm and pulling him, the boy came slowly.

“It’s okay Cas. It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.”

“You said that before.” the boy snapped, his eyes darting up to glare at Dean. Dean swallowed, trying to force his anger down into the pit of his stomach, and the voices in his head, telling him Cas should be reprimanded for talking to him like that, to the back of his mind. Dean offered a small smile, trying to reassure him.

“I mean it. Come on.” with reluctance, Cas crossed the threshold and Dean shut the door to the bathroom. “Strip.” Dean said, pointing to the thin pair of boxers Cas wore. While Cas did that, Dean turned, reaching into a cabinet and pulling out a pair of sweats and a sweatshirt. He set them on the lid of the toilet and began to run some water, putting his fingers beneath the faucet to test it. “I don’t know how you like it-” Dan was surprised when Cas came up behind him and pushed his own fingers under the faucet, letting the water run over his hand. Dean looked up to see him nodding.

“T-this is okay.” Dean smiled and moved to pick up the fresh clothes so he could sit on the lid of the toilet. Cas raised an eyebrow. “You’re going to stay?” Dean nodded.

“Can’t have you running.”

“You don’t trust me?”

“Not one bit.” Dean grinned cheekily. He watched Cas sigh, closing his eyes as he stepped into the water. He really was a beautiful boy. His body was toned, muscular, but not in a vulgar way, his movements almost feminine as he sank into the water. Dean handed him a wash cloth and a bar of Irish Spring soap, Castiel took the items shyly, looking anywhere but at Dean. Dean thought his modesty was cute.

“Y-you want me right now don’t you?” Cas asked, fear evident in his voice. If Dean knew anything as a Psychology Professor, he knew one thing most people feared was being raped. And Cas had witnessed him ravage the step sister who had been taking his lover behind his back. It only seemed logical that Cas would think the worst of Dean, but that fear was what Dean needed. Cas would need to fear him in order to learn how to love him.

“I do.” Dean answered simply. “I’ll always want you.”

“Are you...Are you going to-”

“No.” Cas did look at him then, bright blue eyes, guarded and curious as he washed his body. Dean made sure to watch only Cas’s face and not let his eyes trail to the extremities of his body. Dean might snap if he couldn’t keep himself under control.

“Why not?”

“You’ve been waiting for that haven't you? Waitin for me to take you and then for me to kill you.” Cas looked away, biting his lip. He didn’t say it, Dean knew that’s what he was waiting for. “I don’t want to hurt you. I really don’t . I love you Cas. I love you more than anything. You’re all that matters. I don’t want to take you until you want it. When you ask me, that’s when we’ll be together. Until then I’m trying my best to keep my distance.”

“B-But that first day-”

“I only wanted to scare you Cas,” Dean slid off the toilet and knelt beside the bathtub. He reached up and cupped Cas’s cheek in his hand. Cas didn’t pull away,eyes lingering on Dean’s lips before darting back up to look at his eyes. Dean felt something spasm in him, something that felt almost like a trigger. He watched Cas’s own breath take a decided hitch. Something shifted. He licked his lips and continued, “I want you to be happy here. I want to make your adjustment as easy as possible..” Dean trailed off, unsure of how to finish. They sat there for a moment, watching each other, something shifting in each of them, until Cas cleared his throat.

“I-I think I’m done now.” Dean nodded, still at a loss for words. He stood and handed Cas a fluffy white towel, to which the other man wrapped around his waist. Dean stood back and leaned against the door, watching Cas dress as quickly as possible. He could tell he was shy and embarrassed at being watched, but Dean couldn’t help it. He’d spent so long watching from afar, he needed to be near him. As close as possible.

Cas looked small in Dean’s clothes, he had to roll the sweat pants a couple times and the sweatshirt hung off his body in a baggy fashion. Dean smirked, thinking how cute he looked, he held out his hand, raising an eyebrow and waiting for Cas to take it.

-o-o-

Cas didn’t feel like he had much fight left in him. Mechanically , he reached out, letting Dean take his hand and pull him from the bathroom. He had hoped that maybe, the bath would give him some semblance of life. Some hope, it’d only been a day after all, surely others were looking for him. But it didn’t happen. He still felt numb, broken, despair filling him. He had always been resilient, a fighter, but against this man, he could not win.

_He doesn’t want to hurt you Cassy. He;s the only one who’s been honest with you this whole time. he told you about Balthazar, he brought you justice, he made him pay for hurting you._ The thoughts raced around in Cas’s head incessantly. _He wants you to be happy. Maybe he really doesn’t want to hurt you_. Don’t run from him. Castiel shook his head, pushing his thoughts down.

“You okay?” Cas jumped, having forgotten that he was walking with Dean. The other man had stopped and turned to him, concern flooding his eyes. See. Cas thought. He cares for you. Cas nodded.

“Y-yes. I just...I’m very sore.”

“Want me to carry you?”

“N-No I’m fine. Aren’t we going to watch a movie?” Dean nodded, pulling Cas over to a small black leather couch. He pushed on Cas’s shoulders, forcing the young man's own against the soft and pliant leather. There was an end table in front of him, strewn with papers and a bottle of whiskey, half empty. Dean walked over to an ancient television set and turned it on, reaching behind to hook up a dvd player, so they could watch the movie.

The living room was cramped. The leather couch and a laz-boy were the the only furniture. A tv, an end table and a bookcase were crammed in there as well. It was small, tight quarters, but for some reason, it felt cozy as well.

“Do you want pizza Cas?” Dean asked.

“Huh?” Cas had been lost in his thoughts again, only to be brought back by Dean’s question.

“Do you want pizza for dinner?”

“Sure.”

“What kind?”

“Anything but anchovies and olives.” Dean chuckled and nodded, the theme song from Indiana Jones started playing across the television screen. Castiel watched the menu play curiously.

“Okay,” Dean said with a shy smile. He walked out of the living room, leaving Cas, for the first time since he left the basement, on his own. Adrenaline rushed through his body.

__

_Screw this. I can’t-I have to get out of here!_ He jumped to his feet, the sound of Dean’s low rumbling voice could be heard in the other room. Castiel ran to the bookcase, looking for something, anything that might help him get out. When he found nothing he went back to the end table, digging in and around the papers. To his relief he found one, small, silver paper clip holding together an essay. He sighed in relief, plucking it from the loose papers and shoving it in the pocket of his sweatpants.

“Okay pizza should be on it’s way,” Cas could hear Dean coming back, trudging down the hallway. He sat back on the couch quickly, rearranging himself, trying to make it look as though he’d been there the whole time. Dean smiled seeing him, and sat down next to him, stretching his arm out over the back of the couch. He wrapped his arm around Cas’s shoulders, pulling the smaller boy closer. Cas noticed Dean smelled like whiskey and spearmint. He didn’t know why that was comforting. Dean picked up the remote.

 **  
**“Get ready to witness a classic man.” Cas smiled, it was tense and tight, his eyes turning to the screen, he watched, but didn’t really see the movie, as he planned his escape.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick chapter, not the best but still building up to something big.
> 
> -attempted rape/noncon

Dean was hyper aware of Cas sitting next to him on the couch. Every movement Cas made was sent through Dean like a shock. He licked his lips and tried to readjust himself, surprised to find the movie, a little boring, actually.

“Sammy loved this movie,” he said, more to himself than to Cas, but he felt himself pulling the smaller boy closer to his side as he said it. Felt Cas’s eyes on him.

“Hm?” Cas asked.

“Sammy….Before he died we used to watch Indiana Jones together all the time...It was one of his favorites.” Dean chuckled, running his fingers through his hair. “When Sammy died I kinda felt like I was freefalling, you know? The one thing that kept me grounded, made me happy, was gone. For a long time I just drowned myself in alcohol, almost lost my job, showed up to class hungover.” Cas was quiet, eyes on Dean, listening. Dean didn’t know if he really cared, that didn’t matter anyway, he just needed to talk, and if Cas was going to be quiet and listen, he wasn’t going to complain. “About a month after he died I snapped...It was the first time I’d ever hurt someone like that….I don’t even know who he was, I just picked him out of nowhere and took all my anger out, all my frustrations. I killed that man and dumped him in the river.” he felt Cas stiffen, sucking in a sharp breath, Dean smirked, “I went on a rampage after that. You probably remember, seen the reports, four people went missing, only to be found days later dead. That was me….It felt like I finally was regaining control.” he turned then, eyes locking with Castiel’s, Cas’s eyes were wide, filled with fear and aprehension, Dean reached up and stroked his cheek with the back of his hand. Cas shivered. “And then you showed up….You came into my classroom at the start of term and I couldn’t get you out of my head….I wasn’t stalking you, but I followed you, wanted to make sure oyu were okay, safe. I saw Balthazar with your sister and nearly killed them then...I knew you didn’t know, you were so happy and blissfully unaware….I wanted you to smile like that because of me and that’s when I knew...I knew that this thing,” he gestured between himself and Cas, “this thing I feel goes both ways...You don’t feel it yet, it’ll take time. But when you do, you’ll know. You'll know I was right all along…” Dean’s voice trailed off, his face so close to Cas’s, their noses brushed. Cas cleared his throat and averted his gaze awkwardly.

“T-The movie is over Dean,” Dean looked to the television, the credits were indeed rolling. He sighed and stood up. “Do I...Do I have to go back down there Dean?” Cas’s voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. Dean nodded curtly.

“I can’t trust you up here yet….Soon baby. But for now I need you to stay locked up so you don’t flee.” he smirked, as he walked back to Cas and grabbed his arm. “Let a bird out of his cage and he’ll never come back.”

-o-o-

Dean didn’t come down the next morning. Castiel woke with a painful pressure on his bladder and cried out, begging to be taken to the bathroom. He heard Dean thumping around, could hear the muffled sound of his voice. But Dean did not come down to him.

Cas cried when he peed on himself the first time. It stank and his clothes were quickly turning cold. He curled up on the broken mattress he’d been chained to, hands over his head and shoulders shaking as he sobbed. His stomach cramped and spasmed from hunger and his mouth went dry from lack of water. I’m dying. He thought. This is what it feels like when you’re dying. Surprisingly he felt relieved. Maybe death would be better than this, a tortured existence that when out of sight was out of mind. He continued to release himself, shivering and gasping at the cold stench of it all.

Dean came marching down stairs in the evening. His eyes dark, face expressionless. As he came closer Cas could smell alcohol, heavy and rank on his clothes and skin. Dean didn’t say one word, swaying as he walked. Cas scurried back against the wall behind the bed, pressing himself against it. Dean dropped a tray on the bed and stalked off, slamming the door behind him. Cas looked down at the tray of food. There was a hunk of bread and a small piece of mozzarella cheese, a cup of lukewarm water. He swallowed it hungrily, never tasting anything so delicious in his life and feeling sad when he devoured the last morsel of bread. He wiped his mouth and leaned back, closing his eyes. One more day. He thought. One more day and I’ll be free.

Dean looked better when he came back down stairs the next day. There were deep circles under his eyes, but he no longer smelled and he had shaved and put on clean clothes. He stroked Cas’s hair, cooing softly to wake the boy up. Cas stirred, rousing slowly. He blinked up at Dean, still half asleep, but aware of the other man’s presence. “I’ve got to go to work.” Cas nodded.

“Okay.”

“I’ll clean you up and feed you when I get home...You just be a good baby and stay here. Don’t try anything funny. Understand.”

“yes.” Cas answered gruffly. Dean smiled.

“If I find out you tried something I’ll kill you. Got it? I’ll rip you to pieces.” there was no doubt in Cas’s mind that Dean would try to hurt him, even if his tone was light and chipper. Cas just nodded again, the weight of the paper clip in his sweats, hot and heavy. Dean kissed his forehead. “I love you.”

“Okay.” Dean turned swiftly, running up the stairs and locking the door behind him. Cas waited, listening for the sound of a rumbling engine that would mean Dean had left. Once he heard it he sat up, pulling the paper clip from his pants and unbending it. He was going to get out of there. he had to no matter what.

-o-o-

Dean wasn’t going to stay over today. He wanted to get back to Cas as soon as possible. There were flyers all over the campus, pictures of Cas’s face plastered everywhere, a reward pasted beneath it for any information. Dean was shocked at how calm he felt. There was nothing, not a hint of guilt or remorse. He got his first cup of coffee and strolled into his classroom like it was just another day. Like he didn’t have the missing boy tied up in his basement.

“Hello Professor.” Dean raised his eyes to see Lisa Braeden leaning over his desk, breasts on full display and a seductive smile on her lips. Dean smiled back politely, not at all entranced by her attempted seductions.

“Hello Lisa.” he answered simply. She giggled, twirling a piece of hair between her fingers like a high school girl.

“I’m having trouble with this last assignment...Think I can stay after class and you could explain it to me a little better?” she was tempting. She was beautiful and athletic and incredibly flexible, but she wasn’t what Dean wanted. Not anymore. He huffed, eyes going back to the papers on his desk.

“No, Lisa I believe these after class sessions are doing absolutely nothing for you. Why not ask Garth, behind our missing student Castiel, he’s the highest grade here. I’m sure he could help you.” Lisa scoffed with disgust and walked over to her seat. throwing her bag down and crossing her arms in a pout. Dean sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. It was going to be a long day.

-o-o-

Cas was so relieved when he finally jimmied the the lock around his ankle. He shook his leg free, standing on his own and stretching his arms to the sky. He was dirty and stinky, but he didn’t care. He wouldn’t have time to change his clothes or shower, Dean could come back at any moment, adrenaline pumped through his veins as he ran up the steps to the basement door. He pulled at the door knob, pushing against the door and trying to get it open. It wouldn’t budge.

“Fuck,” he whispered, taking the stairs two at a time as he went back down, he looked around, for a window or an another door, he found one, a small window, barely big enough for him to climb out of. He pushed at it and it gave with a small crack, opening and letting a gust of cool wind hit Cas’s face. He sighed, inhaling the natural air deeply. He was weak, but he managed to hoist himself up, and over the edge of the window, squeezing through it as fast as he could, clawing at the dirt beneath his fingers.

He looked at where he’d come from, the house where his lover and sister had been murdered, the house where…. _Where what?_ He thought. _A man was brutally honest with you and wanted you to be happy?_ Cas shook the thought from his head, scrambling to his feet. he needed to get as far away from there as possible. He ran.

-o-o-

Dean would be lying if he said he wasn’t relieved to finally be home. School had been torture, having to sit through lecture after lecture and teach when all he really wanted was to be home with his baby. He threw his bag on a chair in the kitchen and pulled his keys from his pocket, unlocking the basement door and pushing it open.

It was disgusting. It smelled of urine and feces. Dean made a mental note to clean and give Cas another bath, He’d forgotten the boy had bodily functions like everyone else. But all of that went fleeing from his mind when he reached the last step into the basement. Cas was nowhere to be found, the bed empty, and the window at the far end of the basement thrown open. Dean’s heart began to pound in his chest.

“Shit!” he snarled, turning on his heel and running back up the stairs. He needed to find Cas. He needed to find him before it was too late. He grabbed his car keys and ran out the door.

-o-o-

Cas decided it would be safer to keep to the streets. Dean knew where he lived and probably where his family lived so for now it was best to stay away. He ducked in and out of alleyways, digging around in the trash. He almost missed the smelly depressing basement, even if he hadn’t been there long. Even if he’d been doomed to wet himself at least he had warm hot meals instead of moldy half eaten bananas

Darkness began to fall and Cas felt more nervous than ever as he ducked into an alleyway beside a bar. The air was cooling down and he shivered in his soiled clothing. “Ugh,” he half groaned, half sobbed, “I just wanna go home.” he slid down the side of the brick wall, wrapping his arms around his legs and burying his face in his kneecaps. He hated his life. He hated himself. And he hated Dean Winchester.

“Hey check it out,” he heard a voice hiss. Cas’s hairs on the back of his neck stood on end as his head snapped up and he glared at the entrance to the alley. Two men loomed their, faces hidden by the casted shadows of streetlamps. Cas’s stomach churned with fear.”Hey little fella….” Cas grimaced, hating the way they said that, like he was an animal. “What’re you doing out here all by your lonesome?” Cas stood, his legs shaky and raised his arms, backing away slowly.

“P-Please.” he whimpered. “Please just leave me alone.” his voice was small, barely above a whisper. The men cackled, their voices loud and harsh, Cas flinched.

“Aw honey, I’m sure you want a little company.” Cas watched something sharp and glinting come out of one of their pockets. His eyes widened in fear. He turned, one name rolling off his tongue, loud and sharp.

“Dean!”

-o-o-

Dean was frantic. He wasn’t planning on hurting Cas when he found him. He’d only meant it as an empty threat. But everywhere he looked he couldn’t find him. It was as though he’d vanished into thin air.

Dean wasn’t totally oblivious of course, he knew Cas wouldn’t risk going to his folks or his old home. So Dean parked the Impala in downtown Pontiac and walked, searched every alley, every bar and every store. He was a madman, eyes darting frantically in search of what he’d lost. As dusk fell he began to lose hope. Cas had gone and did not want to be found.

“You idiot,” he whispered to himself, “you stupid fucking idiot.” he passed Harvelle’s bar on his way back to the car when he heard a voice that made his blood run cold.

“Dean!” It was a shrill, high pitched call, laced with fear. Dean turned on his heel, running towards the sound of Cas’s voice, the screams were muffled now, and he could hear the faint sound of sobbing. He ducked into the alleyway beside Harvelle’s bar and what he saw there made his heart race and anger rise to the surface.

Two thugs had Cas pinned to a wall, Cas’s pants were around his ankles and one of them was trying to press into him from behind. The other one held Cas’s arms, pinned them above the boy’s head. Cas’s face was streaked with tears, snot running out of his nose and mouth open with whimpering sobs. Dean saw red, he snarled, catching the thugs off guard.

_“The boy is mine!”_

“Dean-”

“Who are-”

Everything happened so fast. Dean heard himself shout and saw them all look up, but he didn’t care, he barreled forward, knocking the one that was trying to mount Cas, onto his back. He felt his gun fall out of his coat pocket, skittering across the cold pavement. He didn’t care. He punched the man, felt his fist connect with the bones in his face, breaking them, he slugged the man, over and over and over again,

“Hey!” he heard the other one recover from the momentary shock. I’ll deal with him next. Dean thought. He lifted the man beneath him by the hair on his head and slammed him down with a sickening thud. The man stopped moving. Dean stood, knuckles bloody, ready to turn on the other man.

“You son of a bitch!”

 **  
**“Dean!” Dean wasn’t fast enough. He saw Cas’s eyes widen in fear, saw the other man coming at him and felt the blade press into his side.


	6. Chapter 6

Pain. Dean felt it in his side. Everything moving in slow motion. He watched Cas’s mouth drop open in horror, heard his attacker’s breath, heavy and hard in his ear, he felt himself falling, heard the crack of his head on the pavement, but didn’t feel it. He groaned, looking up at the sky, black spots dancing across his eyes.

“Dean!” he heard Cas shout once more.

“C-Cas…”

-o-o-

Cas watched Dean crumble. It was terrifying. This man who had taken him, hurt him and made him feel so small, had been looking for him, found him by chance and now was hurting because of him. Remorse, fear and guilt ripped it’s way through Cas as he watched Dean’s breathing labor and slow, the man who had stabbed him turned, running from Cas, from Dean and from the scene. _That’s not a bad idea_. He thought, turning to flee himself, but he stopped at the mouth of the alley, turning back to look at Dean. His heart felt heavy. _Are you really going to leave him there? What else does he have to do to show you that he cares. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t have bee looking for you, wouldn’t have chased after you._ Cas bit his lip conflicted. Part of him still longed to flee, but watching him, there on the ground, all alone, it hurt something in Cas, it made him sad.

“I can’t leave him,” he mumbled to himself, “He saved my life. He told me the truth...I can’t….I can’t leave him here.” there was a voice, screaming in the back of his mind, telling him to run, that this was a bad idea, but Cas ignored it. He walked back towards Dean, slowly, his legs feeling like lead.

Dean was breathing, it was there, even if only barely. Cas knelt down beside him, taking off his sweatshirt and trying to staunch the blood at Dean’s side. His face was pale and blood was smeared and caked in his hair, Cas was going to have his work cut out for him. He grabbed Dean’s arm and threw it over his shoulder, gripping the larger man’s waist, he pulled him to his feet. Dean groaned.

“Cas…” he whimpered, his head lolling against Cas’s shoulder. Cas nearly buckled under the weight, but he readjusted and shouldered him as best he could. “C-Cas…” Dean said again, hissing in pain.

“Shhh….I’m here Dean,” Cas whispered into Dean’s ear as they staggered out of the alleyway. “I’m right here Dean. I’ll watch over you.”

-o-o-

He managed, with great difficulty, to get Dean back to his house. He carried him down the hall and let him fall, gently, back onto the bed in his room. Cas had to do some digging, but he managed to find some gauze and ace bandages, he didn’t know much about treating stab wounds, but he figured it’d be better for him to do it, instead of taking Dean to the hospital.

By the time he was done, the color had returned to Dean’s cheeks and his breathing had picked up. Cas sighed in relief and slumped over in a chair by the bed, exhaustion washing over him. He was just going to rest his eyes for a minute. Only for a minute.

-o-o-

Dean felt warm and comfortable. He thought for a moment that maybe he had finally bit the big one. _That wouldn’t be so bad._ He thought. _I’d be with Sammy and mom again._ He turned, shifting onto his side, only for pain to shoot it’s way up to his skull. He grimaced and moaned, turning back to the position he had been in before. It was then that he heard the fussing. And a voice that made his stomach tie in knots.

“Damnit Dean! You move too much," he heard Cas huff and felt him fussing over something by Dean’s side, but then a cool wet rag was placed on his forehead and he heard the scraping of a chair. “Way more work than I anticipated.” Dean struggled, he wanted to open his eyes, he wanted to see Cas.

_He had stayed. Cas could have fled the scene but he stayed._ It made Dean want to cry, he felt his throat closing and his hands started to shake. _Cas chose me. He chose to stay with me._ Dean thought.

“Dean?” Cas must have noticed the change in Dean, his voice was small, softer and quiet. A private, and intimate tone. “Dean are you awake?” Cas asked. Dean felt the wet rag move from his forehead to dab on the side of his face, his cheek, his neck. He groaned, his eyes finally opening, slowly.

Blue met green. Cas’s eyes were soft and filled with concern and relief. He sat particularly close to Dean, their noses almost brushing. Dean swallowed hard, his throat feeling raw and hoarse. Cas smiled and reached up, stroking Dean’s hair back, away from his damp forehead. Dean gave him a weak smile, returning Cas’s touch with a finger stroke against his cheek.

“You stayed,” Dean said quietly. Cas nodded, chewing on his lip, eyes never leaving Dean’s.

“I did.”

“Why?”

“Because,” Cas faltered, unsure as to answer him, “We’re family….” Dean sucked in a breath. “Because you’re all that I have left.” Cas averted his gaze, cheeks flushing light red. Dean was taken aback. He couldn’t believe what he’d heard from Cas. He trusted Dean. Dean licked his lips.

“So...So you’ll stay with me? You won’t leave me?” Dean hated how whiney, how needy he sounded. Cas cleared his throat, reaching out to cover Dean’s hand with his own.

“Yeah...Yeah I will.”

-o-o-

“Yeah...Yeah I will.” There’s no going back now. Cas thought. Dean’s eyes lit up at his words, his touch, as Cas reached out and covered his hand. He meant it. He had his parents of course, his other brothers, but none of them cared the way that Dean did. Everything that had happened almost seemed rational. As if Dean had startled him awake out of a sweet, sweet dream. But a dream none the less. Dean was his reality. Dean was the truth.

“I...I love you.” Dean’s lips parted, he sucked in a harsh breath at Cas’s words. It was the first time he’d said it since Dean had kidnapped him. Dean nodded, suddenly bashful and unexpressive in his own feelings.

“I love you too man,” he whispered. Cas helped him sit up, readjusting the pillow behind Dean’s head, the awkwardness in the air shifting. “How long have I been out?” he asked. Cas shrugged.

“A day or so, you need to rest though, I had to stitch up your side and you hit your head pretty hard.” Dean chuckled.

“Well aren’t you a regular Dr. Sexy,” he teased. Cas ignored him and grabbed the remote by the bedside table and turned the television on over the dresser. The local news was playing and Cas felt the blood drain from his face.

_“Police have identified the armed man as Professor Dean Winchester. A local teacher at the University. Police have questioned him in numerous cases before, but his suspicion has been renewed, due to this image. No report on if he’s been called into question for the murders of Balthazar Roche, Anna Milton and the disappearance of Castiel Novak.”_ black and white security footage was shown then, it was Dean, holding a gun at point blank range and ushering Balthazar and Anna out of their home. Dean cursed softly, throwing the blankets that covered him away and struggling to his feet.

“Dean!” Cas shouted, catching him before he fell into the bedside table. Dean grasped Cas’s shoulders, almost hard enough to hurt him, Cas held him alarmed. “Dean stop! Your wounds!”

 _ **  
**_“I’m fine.” Dean snapped, instantly regretting it. He wrapped his arm around Cas’s waist, pulling the boy closer to his side. “We-we gotta go though. Now. Before-” the distant sound of sirens wailing made Dean stop mid speech, mouth shutting and eyes growing dark. Cas shook, his body trembling with fear, Dean pressed a hard kiss against the side of Cas’s head. They’d have to kill him, before he gave up Cas. “We have to go Cas. Come on.”


End file.
